By Marianne Clyde
It is so frustrating to really really want something, but it continues to be elusive.
Maybe you’ve got a plan for your business, but you just can’t seem to kick start it.
Maybe you are eager to turn a relationship around, but you can’t seem to make it happen.
Perhaps you are not feeling well, and no matter what you try, health seems to elude you.
What on earth is going on?
When I feel stuck and I seem to be bumping into walls no matter what I try, I know it’s time to be still and pay attention.
The first thing I do is take note as to what is going on in my body. Sometimes I’ll feel a blockage in my throat; sometimes I feel a disturbance in my stomach; but most of the time, I experience a heaviness in my heart. Occasionally it feels like a rock, or something sitting in my chest. It’s kind of hard to describe, but I know it’s there.
I look around in my mind for what seems to be causing this disruption or this sense of being stuck. I look for a few things:
- What emotion am I feeling?
- What thoughts am I thinking?
- What am I believing that makes me feel this way?
- Is there someone I’ve not forgiven?
- Could it be me?
It helps to write the answers to these questions down. Keep digging. Why do I feel this way? Why am I angry, lonely, ashamed, scared? Quite often there are beliefs that I am carrying that are not true. They might come from early childhood. When we are children, we don’t have the internal resources to really question things we are taught. We just believe them.
However, as we grow up, it becomes our responsibility to examine the things we think about. We have the power to choose what we think and undo some of the damage caused by the beliefs of others. In the coaching I do, either individual or group and even masterminds, one of the most important things we do, is examine where our blockages come from and choose to change the beliefs that cause them.
Releasing others from blame is an important part of personal growth. Yes, they might have done you wrong, but the truth is, that is not really your problem. The problem comes when we allow those negative thoughts or emotions to take up residence inside of us. The person who offended or hurt or irritated you is not the problem. That’s what people do.
Imperfect people who are out there living their lives are just a fact of life. They are everywhere. They are everyone. Each one finding his/her own place in the world. Each one is on his/her own journey and fulfilling his/her own purpose.
YOU just need to figure out what the lesson is that YOU can learn from this situation. Even apparently impersonal events. Natural disasters, illness, that tree falling on your house, everything. What response make you a better, stronger, wiser, more loving, more resourceful you?
No one is out to get you. Even if they are, it’s not the issue. The issue is, how can you reconstruct your thinking; how and who must you forgive; where is the thing that you can be grateful for.
Negative emotions in any area of your life create blocks in your path. Lies you believe (even if you’ve believed them all your life) prevent all the abundance from coming to you. Irritations, betrayals, disappointments, even crises can be used for your benefit and growth.
You are here on this earth to become the best version of yourself that you can be. Never allow anything to stop that journey. Remember, conflicts, contrast, challenges will happen every day. Stop resisting, complaining, getting angry. Instead, get curious, get grateful, become resourceful.
Every day, you shower, you brush your teeth, you occasionally take out the garbage, you pull weeds, you shovel snow, you sweep your floors, you clean the toilet. Why? Because grime happens. In every area of life. Let self examination, each day, just become like your daily shower. No need for resentment or irritation. Learn to be thankful for soap and hot water, and toothpaste, and other things that help you get clean and free of grime. And continue to be you. AMAZING you.
Action Step: Reframing situations, rethinking, examination of beliefs and clearing out clutter are some ways that can help you gain clarity and move forward. One thing to remember is that you are never done. You have never fully “arrived.” Everything is for your growth and well-being, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time. Try some of the exercises above. And if you are still stuck, schedule a call with me and we’ll see how I can help.
