by Marianne Clyde
Ugh. So often when we think about transitions, it creates a tension in the chest. A feeling of fear, or instability. It can feel like unworthiness or anger. It can feel like desertion, betrayal. Emptiness. Confusion.
That’s normal. Change is always a little scary. But change is one of the constants of life. It happens every morning. Every interaction. Every meal. Every time you get dressed! It all depends on how you look at it, how you think about it, what you say about it.
AND what you DO about it.
Lorna and I are currently going through a transition. And we are excited. But at first, we were feeling some of the feeling named above. Normal.
But here’s what we know about transitions and how to make them into a transformation.
- Stay aware of your feelings at all times. Are you comfortable? Are you tense? Are you happy? Do you feel awkward? Avoidant? Enthusiastic?
- Examine yourself for the source of your feelings and emotions. What seems to be causing them?
- When you are feeling calm, communicate them in a straightforward manner.
- Don’t take anything personally. The way someone feels and reacts has more to do with how they are feeling about themselves. They are allowed to have feelings, same as you.
- Resist being defensive. Or blaming.
- Keep a win/win strategy in mind at all times. Consider well being for everyone involved.
- Speak about strengths and goals and what you are grateful for in the previous situation as well as the new.
- Think and talk about what could be new and exciting about the changes this transition will bring. The opportunities it affords you.
- Be supportive of all involved.
- Identify where you want to go, a plan to make it happen, and take steps to bring it to pass. No looking back. No regrets.
As a woman over 50 (and I’m WELL over 50), I am fully aware that we experience many transitions. Empty nest, retirement, job changes, relationship changes, health changes, loss. But each of those things can represent growth and new opportunities.
At this time in our lives, BECAUSE of these changes, we have more time, new opportunities, new relationships. THIS is the time of our lives when we are really free to consider “what’s next” for us. What impact do you really want to make? What changes are important for you to be fully present in your life and completely happy. When you are happy and joyful and enthusiastic, you are an inspiration to others who also want to be free from expectations of others, rules that no longer apply to you.
In order to follow your dreams you must stay fully aware of how you are feeling and responding to the world around you and adjust as necessary. That takes courage and boldness and inner strength.
I am here and fully equipped and happy to coach your through the changes you want to make. Don’t wait. Life gets shorter every day.
Action step: Awareness is the first step toward change. Just sit quietly and breathe deeply and think about how you feel about your current circumstances. How do you feel in your body? Where is that feeling coming from. What thought patterns and beliefs are causing those feelings? Then think about how you would rather feel. Write down what might help you feel that way. Sometimes it’s just a little tweak in your thinking or behavior. Sometimes it takes more. Sometime you need support. If that’s the case, schedule a call with me and we can figure it out.
