By Marianne Clyde
Wouldn’t it feel great to have a safe place to hang out, where you are respected and valued?
Of course, I’m going to start by saying that you are always valued at Isn’t She Amazing events and your input is always respected here.
Besides that, though, you must remember that YOU are the creator of your life. You get to choose who you associate with.
It is perfectly OK to leave a club or organization where you no longer feel like you fit in. There are an immense number of women’s groups with various interests and points of focus.
As we age, friends sometimes seem to fade away. Kids grow up, social groups change, jobs change, relationships change, interests change.
But you know as well as I do that change is a fact of life.
Don’t stay where you are no longer welcome. Here’s what to do instead.
Many of us have children that are grown and are living a life apart from us. (I know! The nerve of them!) even though we work hard to raise them to be independent, it’s a bit disconcerting when they actually do what we taught them to do, isn’t it?
Many of us are retired, or have lost a job, or are uncomfortable in our current workplace.
But remember, WE are the ones in control of our lives (to a large extent.) We can choose to walk away from situations in which we are not valued.
The most dangerous thing to do is to try to force others to value us. To continue to force a relationship or a safe place that is not longer safe. You don’t have to get permission from anyone to say goodbye.
Find a new tribe, a new group, a new interest. Pay attention to what makes you feel good. What makes you happy. Notice the people who feel good to be around. Become aware of sensing authenticity and warmth and acceptance. And walk away from places that don’t feel like that.
It’s not just everyone else that’s changing, we are changing too. We have more freedom now. We have a right to an opinion. As a matter of fact your words, your actions, your wisdom are sorely needed in this world. There are people who love you for you. You just need to expose yourself to situations where they might be.
If you walk into a room shrinking from fear of being rejected, the people in that room that need what you have can’t see your light.
Spend time every day loving and appreciating yourself. Speak to yourself like you need to be spoken to. Take actions that feel right to you, with no apology. We have been trained for too long to fear rejection. Granted, it doesn’t feel too good. There’s a lot out there that doesn’t feel too good.
But just like it’s up to us to pick the people we hang out with, it’s up to us to choose what we focus on. It takes some diligence, but we must make it a priority to learn to focus our attention on what feels good, what is lovely, all that beauty out there and ignore what doesn’t. Don’t give negative attitudes or words the time of day. Stay focused on what buoys you up. Look for the good and remove yourself where you no longer fit.
There’s no shame in that. You are much more powerful and attractive when you are filled with joy and positive energy, when you feel that you are living life on purpose. When you are being all you were created to be.
What’s one thing you need to change in your life today to raise your energy? Just one thing. Do it.
Action Step: Write down how you want to feel. Jot down things that feel bad to you and next to it write what you could think or do or how you could approach that situation to make it feel different to you. I’ve been helping people overcome things that don’t work for 35 years. So if you need help, schedule a call.
