by Marianne Clyde
Self-loathing doesn’t always scream.
Sometimes, it whispers.
It hides in socially acceptable behaviors.
It wears the mask of productivity, perfection, or people-pleasing.
It’s subtle. Often praised. But deeply painful.
The Quiet Struggle of Strong Women
Lately, I’ve had conversations with so many incredible women—seasoned professionals, mothers, mentors, leaders. Women with life experience, wisdom, and heart.
And yet… beneath the surface, I’m seeing a quiet struggle.
A subtle sense of self-loathing.
A feeling of not being proud.
A lingering shame they rarely name out loud.
And that concerns me deeply.
Because if we—women who have lived, loved, lost, and led—are still doubting our worth…
Who will show the next generation how to rise with confidence and compassion?
What Hidden Self-Loathing Can Look Like
It’s not always obvious.
Sometimes, it shows up as:
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Constant complaining
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Harsh judgment or irritability toward others
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A sense of superiority or self-righteousness
Underneath it all?
A voice that quietly whispers:
“I’m not good enough.”
Other times, it looks like:
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Apologizing for speaking your truth
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Shrinking from the spotlight (even when your soul longs to shine)
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Downplaying your wins
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Over-giving to earn your place
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Saying “Who am I to…” instead of “Why not me?”
This isn’t weakness.
This is humanity.
But it’s not where you have to stay.
What Brave Thinking Looks Like
Brave thinking isn’t about being fearless.
It’s about choosing love over self-judgment.
It’s about asking powerful questions and taking soul-aligned steps forward.
Brave thinking sounds like:
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“What would I do if I deeply loved myself?”
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“What would I LOVE to create?”
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“What if I didn’t need to be liked to be free?”
It looks like:
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Letting your hands shake while still using your voice
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Replacing self-punishment with self-partnership
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Honoring your story as a gift to the world
You can’t loathe yourself into a life you love.
You have to love yourself forward.
That’s brave thinking.
That’s Supernova living.
Ready to Rise?
If this struck a chord, good. That means you’re ready.
Ready to trade shame for softness.
Purpose for punishment.
Fear for freedom.
This is the work I do every day—guiding brilliant, brave women over 50 to step into the impact they were born to make.
Action Step: If you’re ready to explore what’s possible for you, let’s talk.
