By Marianne Clyde
Create the habit of checking how you feel, often.
At first glance this might sound selfish. Yes, it is focusing on yourself, but you absolutely must learn to love yourself first; you need to care for yourself first and you need to trust yourself first.
If you don’t learn to maintain a healthy and positive outlook, and respect how you feel, and adjust it when necessary. It’s impossible to maintain the kind of energy you need to create a magnetic life, attracting all the good stuff you want.
You can’t truly be fully available for anyone else and respect others unless you are fully available to yourself and respect yourself. You need to be able to be aware of your emotions, what causes them and in what way you tend to be reactive.
If you practice taking a breath and examining how you feel, it gives you a moment to detach and think clearly and understand that you have a choice in how you respond. And it gives you an opportunity to switch to a more positive emotion if you find yourself down or frustrated or lethargic.
This is true freedom. You always have a choice and it can make the difference between a healthy response and one you will regret and need to clean up later.
Create the habit of being grateful every day.
Surrounding yourself and filling yourself with good energy and positive emotion is a good way to keep your energy up. Studies show that practices like gratitude and meditation actually can change your brain. You have the seeds of love, joy, peace, creativity and abundance inside of you.
What you water grows.
But many times, we focus on what we don’t have. Or we focus on a problem and we allow the frustration to pull us down.
Remember that what you focus on increases, so creating habits that fill your tank, like gratitude, generosity, forgiveness, will make you more resilient and magnetic.
Create the habit of giving away who you are.
At Isn’t She Amazing, I give away a lot of free content. Blogs, podcasts, social media posts that include personal experiences and valuable content. My goal is to inspire and encourage women to live their brightest life after 50.
I have many years of experience and lots of knowledge to share, and I share it freely. What good is storing 70 years of information and wisdom and keeping it all inside?
I know many business people are afraid to give away too much for fear that people won’t buy. I find the opposite. If I meet someone who happily helps me when I’m in a bind, or knows a skill that I need help with and they help me generously with their time and words and wisdom, they are the first ones I will call when I have a big project, or a specific need or an important dilemma to resolve.
I’ll hire the generous ones. So be the generous ones in your circle. Others do the same.
Create the habit of listening to the person in front of you as if they are the only person on earth.
You might only have a few minutes at a networking meeting or might be on the way out the door, but take a minute to at least hear what they want to say to you. Look into their eyes, listen and discern how they feel and what they may need from you. More that anything else people need to be loved and valued for who they are.
If you need to run, and don’t have time to hear them through, acknowledge that and assure them you’d like to talk to them and make an appointment for another time. But even if it’s just a quick hey, how are you, refrain from looking around the room or looking past them. Be genuine and sincere and let them know you see them and they matter.
People remember you for how they feel when they are with you. Let them know they are safe and cared for.
Create the habit of keeping your word.
Whether it’s returning a phone call, being on time, or meeting a deadline, keeping your word is an important way to show people that you value them and their time.
It feels good when someone says, sure, I’ll get to that right after this meeting; or Sure, lets meet at 3 pm; That’s a good idea, let’s discuss it in the morning, but then never show up as promised. If they never return the call, or forget about an appointment. That tells a different story.
Sure, it happens to everyone once in a while, but if you are known for terrible follow through, not keeping your word, it sends a message, that is left to the receiver to interpret in their imagination. They might think:
- You are unreliable
- You don’t tell the truth
- You don’t really want to do or can’t do what you said
- You don’t value the person you made the promise to
- Or whatever else their imagination tells them.
Might they be right? Don’t make a promise unless you intend to keep it. Lead like you would like to be led.
Action Step: Take a personal inventory from time to time. Do you like who you are? Would you follow your lead? If not, go ahead and make a few changes. If you need help just schedule a call with me.
